by Julia Collier
light, glowing, shining and glinting
I watched your eyes.
Glad they were free from cries.
You used to worry so often
I was scared I’d find you crying again.
But, I watched your tepid smile.
And I knew it had been a while.
But just to see your lips tug and pull,
Making the broken pieces inside you seem whole,
Made the time i waited worth it.
Watching you find yourself bit by bit,
Your smile warming up your face,
It was like watching a turtle win a race.
I walked over to see what make you look so bright
And found you looking up in the snow filled sky at a very dim light
It was so far
But I could almost tell that it was star.
The only one in the night sky
So far up and very high
Yet so close you could almost feel a gentle caress,
A tender heart touching press
It lifted off stress.
Most would’ve brushed it off as being lilliputian
But it was just your locution.
I pondered how it made you so happy and warmly glow
How it managed to pull you from down below
Wondering what about it made you care.
I watched out the window and let silence ring
Too worried to say anything.
Stuck in the fear of watching your smile dissipate
Afraid to see your happiness deflate.
You rarely looked so at peace
Usually, you looked like you weren’t in one piece.
So I just watched and enjoyed the view,
Something I knew had only been seen by few
I ignored all the white walls
I ignored all those who would call
I watched you stare at the unopenable glass
I prayed silently that you had felt your pain had passed
I remembered when you first came here,
Holding in so many fears.
Watching pain and loss swirl and sting your eyes
Watching you relive everyone’s lies.
But, right now
You smile sweetly softly and soothingly
I was grateful to see you just moving
Breathing and not bleeding
I was worried to see you in your habits
A cursing sabbat.
Sitting in a corner and hugging pillows cold
As though you were play playing cards about to fold.
I had to pull my head out of the past when you turned to me.
And, I saw exactly what I wanted to see.
Your soul; full of hope and joy.
Like a child on christmas with all their new toys
I smiled back with not nearly as much grace
Which only made the smile widen on your face.
“… The years have washed away the fears and doubts.
Snow falls on the ground below
like just baked sugar cookie dough.
I want to hold the snow in my hand and watch them meant as though
I’d only picked up dry sand.” She whispered, staring out at the dim lit night.
“I want to let it all out like a newly fixed light. The darkness it’s ready to fight.”
She paused hard and long,
A tear falling out her hope filled eye as she cried, droplets of water swiftly falling down her rose colored cheeked,
the last fleeting worry leaving her be.
“…I want to go- I’m ready to go see my sister”
Her look over the years has said how much she’s missed her.
“I want to tell her I’ve let myself free”
She looked at the light in the sky with a slight sting.
That’s when it clicked.
That was her sibling.