by Kaitlin Gray and Payton Hall
Have you ever wondered to yourself, “What the heck is Smash Club, and what do they even do?” If so, you’re not alone.
In an interview with Payton Hall, Smash Club President, I set out to debunk the myth that Smash Club is some sort of a gamers cult comprised of all the coolest kids at Westlake. (Conclusion: Yeah, so they’re not exactly a cult, but the part about Smash Club members being rad was no lie.) Search no further for the answers your soul must long for above all: ThunderZone has the scoop.
1. What do you guys do at Smash Club meetings? Just play Super Smash Bros?
“We have meetings on the last Friday of every month, in Mr. Roberts’ room, from 2:30 to about 4:30, and yeah we literally just play Smash Bros. While that may seem boring to some, nothing brings me more joy than seeing a bunch of teenagers standing in a corner, building anticipation, when all of the sudden all of them start shouting for like a full minute about what just happened. It’s like getting hit by a spiritual truck.”
2. How do you join Smash Club?
“It’s easy. You literally just come to an event. You can email the president, text the president, go to his house, or communicate somehow, in any way, and say “I would like to join,” and that’s it, you’re in. We have the most members out of any other club in school because we are free, anyone can join, and it’s super low maintenance.”
3. Will Smash Club continue to be a tradition at Westlake, even after all the Seniors leave?
“This is actually one of the biggest questions I get asked, and I actually don’t know if the club will keep going after this year. . .
There’s an episode in Parks and Rec where Ron Swanson is making his will, and he says everything he owns will belong to the man/beast that ends up killing him. I kinda feel the same way. Maybe at the end of the year, whoever is able to beat me at my own game will be given the club. (Now that would be so red-neck and hilarious.) Yeah, I’ll probably do that.”
4. Why should Westlakers join Smash Club?
“Ummm why not? It’s free, there’s good music, you’ll get in the yearbook, it’s fun, and we have loads of cute boys and girls. There’s nothing like playing video games with others that won’t make fun of you for it. At the end of the day, we do what we do for fun. And if you wanna have fun, we are the right people for you.”
You heard the man, people.
5. Last, but not least, do you guys have food at your tournaments? This might just be a deal breaker, Payton.
“Funny story, this goes along with our McDonald’s fundraiser thing we did earlier this year. McDonald’s wanted to sponsor us by giving us food, but we didn’t want their food. We wanted money, ’cause we are as broke with money as the Battle Of Bunker Hill was with ammo–like, there’s none. So we had that huge sponsorship night and stuff and they gave us some money, but it wasn’t all that they promised so that was lame. (We are currently boy-cotting them, so no one go to MacDonald’s.) Anyway, we are broke right now and don’t have any money for food. But please bring something to share, folks! Once some kid brought doughnuts to a tournament and it was awesome. Now everyone loves that kid (*hint hint*)!!”
All in all, Payton says, “we are a pretty random and weird club; but hey, we are my random and weird club, and that’s all I could ever ask for.”