The Art of Running

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SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - APRIL 22: A competitor runs past the Sydney Harbour Bridge during the 2012 Men's Health Urbanathlon on April 22, 2012 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images)

By Annie Jorgensen

The art of running is graceful, and it attracts the most coordinated and skilled of athletes. Except neither of those things are true. Running is just moving in a straight line for a long amount of time while trying to go straight faster than everyone else. I mean sometimes, there are curves and hills, and this takes the runners by surprise. Therefore they must travel in groups when practicing because you never know when one of those nasty corners will show up. There is safety in numbers.

You also never know when nothing is going to pop out of the ground and cause the runners to trip, because as I said before, they are very graceful and never trip without reason. I once heard a legend that a runner tripped and ended up on the other side of the path with skinned knees, and hurt pride. Luckley this runner is ok today and has only had several other accidents, including tripping on a fence post, and their own legs.

Sometimes the bravest of runners will get feel the need to be a daredevil and they will go on trail runs. This is a really scary thing for runners because there are rocks AND turns AND hills. That’s THREE things they need to look out for.  The runners tend to become extra aware when on trail runs. For this reason they seem to find lots of dead bodies. In about 70% of dead bodies found off a mountain trail, it’s a runner that finds it. This causes the rest of the population to be wary of our friends who enjoy moving fast in a single direction while barely being able to breathe.

Running is not for the faint of heart. Only the bravest of the brave will pursue this sport. While running you WILL trip, you WILL cry, you WILL pee your pants and you WILL vomit after your races. What a graceful sport!

 


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