“If you’re lost and lonely, go and figure out why. Take a trip to your dark side; go on and have a good cry.”
There is a song called “Heavy” from a band named Birdtalker. The words above are the first lyrics in their song. Leave all of your heavy things behind. Find who you are. Find who you want to be, or are meant to be.
Sometimes being that person is lost in a whirlwind of worldly trial and error. It can be tremendously difficult to be the person you want to be and discover how to be that person. There is constant pressure surrounding us as young adults. We have mental, emotional, and physical barriers that hold us back from our potential. We face, illnesses, educational issues, substance abuse, family issues, comparison and stereotyping. The list goes on forever it seems. Your purpose can be really difficult to find. It can be difficult even if you don’t deal with those things, because we’re still learning to grow and mature altogether. Sometimes we even feel like we cannot uphold certain expectations and that if we don’t, we’re failures. But these are also all things that we can overcome.
It is definitely okay to not feel okay. It’s okay to feel like you’re in the dark, lost, and worn out. It’s okay if you’re lost and don’t know how to find a way back to a good path. We all get stuck in that loop sometimes, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is giving up and staying in that place. It’s what you do next that matters most. The steps you take to get out of those darker corners are what help you find the person you want to be. Those steps help further your progress to find your purpose.
Mark Manson, author, thinker, and life enthusiast says: “most of us have no clue what we want to do with our lives. Between ages 18 and 25, I changed career aspirations more often than I changed my underwear. It’s a struggle almost every adult goes through. “What do I want to do with my life?” “What am I passionate about?” “What do I not suck at?”” He suggests asking yourself questions to figure yourself out.
- WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF **** SANDWICH AND DOES IT COME WITH AN OLIVE?
Basically, everything sucks (some of the time). Well that can be a liberating idea. Everything involves sacrifice right? Some sort of cost. Nothing is pleasurable or uplifting all the time. So what struggle or sacrifice are you willing to tolerate? Mark says: “ultimately, what determines our ability to stick with something we care about, is our ability to handle the rough patches and ride out the rotten days. What **** sandwich do you want to eat? Because we all get served one eventually. Might as well pick one with an olive.” If everything sucks at one point or another, and we’re able to handle the rough patches, we are able to await the great things that come next. And if we like those outcomes, we get closer to figuring a little part of ourselves out.
- WHAT IS TRUE ABOUT YOU TODAY THAT WOULD MAKE YOUR 8-YEAR-OLD SELF CRY?
We all have a tendency to lose touch with what we loved as a child. Social pressures and professional pressures squeeze the passion out of us. We grow up with the mindset that the only reason to do something is if we’re somehow rewarded for it. Mark says: “When I was a child, I used to write stories. For the sheer joy of it. And then, for some reason, I stopped. If my 8-year-old self asked my 20-year-old self, “Why don’t you write anymore?” and I replied, “Because I’m not good at it,” or “Because nobody would read what I write,” not only would I have been completely wrong, but that 8-year-old-boy version of me would have probably started crying.” For you, and ask yourself this: what is something you know you’ve given up that maybe you wished you hadn’t? What in your life is missing that made your 8-year-old self thrive? Can you bring that back? The best part if you can? It doesn’t have to be for anybody else. Just yourself.
- IF YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DIE ONE YEAR FROM TODAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO AND HOW WOULD YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?
Most of us don’t like thinking about death because it freaks us out. But thinking about our own death surprisingly has a lot of practical advantages. An advantage is that it forces us to focus in on what’s actually important in our lives. If you had a year to live, what would you do? How can you start working towards that today? Mark asks about what your obituary will say one day, if anything. If you want it to say something, how will you be remembered? Start asking yourself this question.
Start asking yourself all of these questions. Start following up with yourself. Make personal progress. It’s not meant to be for anybody else.
Discovering one’s “purpose” in life truly boils down to finding those one or two things that are bigger than yourself, and bigger than those around you. It’s not about some great achievement. It’s finding a way to spend your limited amount of time well. To do that, take action. You can sit in your corner forever and think about all the things you wish you were. In fact, you could read all of the self care articles in the world that tell you how to find who you are, and still wish you were right there with them. Tell me how that will work out for you and your personal goals if you just keep sitting in the dark? Don’t self-induce the lost feeling. Take the time to think beyond yourself, and greater than yourself. Do all of the things on your bucket-lists. Take risks. Speak for something you believe in. Make a change. Be that person that you’re afraid to be. Discover the ways to be that person. You are capable of so much. So if your purpose is feeling foggy, find it.
Manson, Mark. “7 Strange Questions That Help You Find Your Life Purpose .” MarkManson.net, 18 Sept. 2014, markmanson.net/life-purpose.